I'm surprised no one has mentioned inverter microwaves. Unlike plain old regular microwaves where power settings just adjust the time that the magnetron is running at full blast the inverter ones can actually change the power of the magnetron. Makes it tons easier to cook food evenly and calmly. Never am I buying again one without.
It's kinda hard to find them though. Most manufacturers hardly list this but Bosch seems to have inverter in most of theirs. My favourite is the Bosch BFL634GB1. Bosch BFL7221B1 was a huge downgrade due to the shitty touch screen and wheel along with a multi-second boot time.
> It’s about staring blankly at the buzzing white box, waiting for the four dreadful beeps that give you permission to eat.
I thought it was near universal that everybody staring at the microwave was engaged in a game of chicken where you try to open the door as close to zero as possible while preventing the beeps.
The beeps must not sound.
I have no idea why it’s important to prevent the beeps, but it feels like a deep primal compulsion. Our ancestors must have learned that the beeps attracted sabretooth tigers or something
Just be careful doing this if there’s a radio telescope nearby:
However, about 25 FRBs detected mainly by the Parkes Radio Telescope and a few other observatories presented signatures that were very different. Although they covered a wide frequency range just like the other FRBs, the frequency-time structures of many of these events defied any physical model, and they did not show differences in the arrival times between the higher frequencies and the lower frequencies of the burst. Also, the location of these FRBs was difficult to pinpoint; the radiation seemed to come from all directions. The Parkes astronomers, mystified, dubbed these "abnormal" FRBs "perythons" after a mythical figure invented by the Argentinian author Jorge Luis Borges. The perythons’ signatures caused astronomers to doubt the extragalactic origin of FRBs [PDF] althogether. They might originate on or nearby Earth, the scientists began to believe, and some astronomers even suggested that these strange bursts might be produced by extraterrestrial civilizations.
Not long after focusing their attention on the perythons, the Parkes astronomers noticed that these FRBs seemed to take off during weekends. In 2014, they installed a radio frequency interference monitor at the observatory and decided that the culprits were probably some microwave ovens inside the observatory building. Tests with these microwave ovens yielded nothing—they emitted no radio pulses while they were running. The astronomers were flummoxed—that is, until one of the testers, during a third attempt, opened the door of a microwave oven before the magnetron was shut off by the timer.
https://spectrum.ieee.org/microwave-ovens-posing-as-astronom...
I know it's silly, but I always used to open the microwave door to stop it, and since reading that story, these days I always stop the microwave with the 'stop' button before opening the door. Just in case. :)
I completely agree in the game of chicken. Usually I spend the time up to T-3s wondering how the crazy beepers on microwave ovens is still a thing, generations after the novelty has worn of.
I can sort of understand why beepers where a cool sales gimmick back when the microwave was the only appliance with a micro controller, but really -- it doesn't make sense: Firstly, immediate attention is not critical when the time is up: unlike a stove or an oven, energy transfer stop the moment the magnetron is de-energized. Secondly, the microwave (at least my microwave) is not exactly silent: if you are not deaf, chances are you can easily tell when it is done.
Maybe I should apply the Joe-treatment from my old lab: whenever there was a new shipment of frequency meters for the lab (we always needed more), Joe would meticulously unbox them and stick a pointed screw-driver through all the piezo buzzers to make sure the would never make a sound.
[Edit] microtron (sic) -> magnetron
Or why there's not just a switch you can flip to turn the ring off or on.
Those extremely rare moments when you open the door literally on zero, with no sound, and the display showing 0s, are like half of the reason I use a microwave. Man vs machine at its most visceral, it makes me feel alive
The only thing that comes close is trying to stop the fuel pump on a nice round dollar amount.
Supermarket checkout with a round amount feels like winning some lottery, admittedly.
I’m half-expecting a Therac-25 situation in those edge-case operating moments, but then remember that microwave ovens, unlike the Therac-25, have physical interlocks to prevent open-door operation.
I remember having some microwave oven that started rotating if I opened the door partially at just the right angle. Hopefully does not mean the magnetron was actually running.
You really don't want to succeed in faking it out, though. Not because it'll microwave you, but because part of the safety mechanism is a fuse that blows if the door is open while the magnetron is on.
My microwave beeps regardless. It beeps with every button push. It beeps when the door is opened. It beeps when the door is not opened. I swear I heard it beep unplugged in the garden just now
It’s in the garden?
Six feet under, but those piezoelectric speakers are piercing
The Tell-Tale Beep, by Edgar Allen Poe.
[dead]
You know that you can remove the piezo beeper from the microwave, right? Or add a series resistor to lower the volume.
This defeats your training to achieve zero with no beep though, a valuable skill when dealing with any appliance with a timer that beeps.
> a valuable skill
You can remove the buzzers from all of your appliances and then live in bliss.
Most microwaves have a mute function.
Removing an offensive buzzer or beeper or overbright LED is far more satisfying. Plus, nobody can trivially unmute the thing.
But that said, I wouldn’t mind a microwave that could be quieted without completely muting it. They could mute the buttons but still let it beep once when a timer or cooking cycle finishes. On the other hand I have a phone that I can time things with, so I’m not really looking to replace my microwave merely for that.
What? No way!
<checks YouTube>
What!
I guess I should have read the docymantasion.
YouTube and Google are very confident this feature exists but drilling down to my model the answer is no it does not.
I think I'm getting the screwdriver out this weekend.
Your last word brought to mind the science fiction short, "Come You Nigh: Kay Shuns" by Lawrence A. Perkins, which used exactly this technique as an encryption method!
Analog SF, April 1970 - available here: https://www.luminist.org/archives/SF/AN.htm
(BTW, that site is one of the hidden treasures of the Internet, on a par with Archive or Wikipedia...)
> The actual recipe section starts with the recipe for a bowl of cereal, which I am 70% sure is a joke
For years, I would get up insanely early and be the first in the office, with no-one around other than the cleaners. My breakfast every day would be microwave-cooked oats - but it wasn't quite as easy as the recipe from the book makes it out to be, mostly because of the milk.
Unlike water, when you heat up milk to a high temperature in the microwave, it behaves just like it does on the stove top: it wants to crawl out of the container and nicely spread itself everywhere.
So, I developed sort of a technique that consisted of short bursts of microwaving at full blast, then stopping and stirring, and back in with bowl. I repeated that a few times, but after I had the technique down, it didn't require much attention any more, it worked quite reliably.
The oats got cooked nicely, and thanks to the pectin of an apple that I also added in, it also thickened. (And in case you wonder, the apple's acidity does sometimes split the milk somewhat, but in most cases it doesn't.) However, there's definitely a difference in smoothness between microwaved oat meal and one that's made slowly on the stove top - the latter being much nicer in texture.
But it was a quick breakfast that I really enjoyed (with a dash of cinnamon) at my desk every morning while I was going through my email from the night before.
Every microwave I’ve ever looked at from a distance, or actually used, has the ability to set the power level, typically in 10% increments.
The typical workflow is: power button > number button 1-9
My daily driver is a bit more fancy, and has a single button to cycle through the available power settings.
For your milk oats I’d suggest a power setting around 30 to 40% and increasing the cooking time by a factor of 2.
Sure, but you want to go as hot as possible to get the oats cooked. Besides, I wanted to be as quick as possible. Like, quick oats, you know? ;-)
I'd never make porridge with water at home - but in winter in the office I used to cover a 1/3 bowl of oats with boiling water and then microwave for just 30 seconds.
Once the oirriois cooked (it really should be already) add a teaspoon or two of salted butter to the middle and stir, then sugar to taste.
Suprisingly delicious, quick and repeatable.
I won a few people over who couldn't believe that porridge made with water would be any good, but it was a great winter staple, especially after cycling in, in the cold.
Oats with water is like oats with oat milk.
Revelation hey.
Another easy microwave win is polenta, I sometimes make a polenta-ish porridge with masa flour because its more nutritious and the taste is nice.
My technique for oatmeal is to warm 1 cup of milk in the microwave with the oatmeal, and boil a cup of water in the kettle. Then add the water to the porridge and mix.
My solution was to half the requested liquid for a thick oatmeal. Ok, thick is underselling it, it’ll be quite dense. Add cinnamon and chopped dates.
Restaurants are doing more of this than most people think.
Here's an article from the head chef from a commercial microwave oven company, on how to get more done faster.[1] Commercial microwave ovens have about 2KW-3KW of power, and some of them have true variable power, not the on/off thing most home microwave ovens use. "I’ve shown teams how to make mug cakes, molten chocolate brownies, and steamed puddings with just a microwave. The reactions are always the same: "I had no idea a microwave could do that.”"
[1] https://totalfood.com/revolutionizing-microwave-cooking-comm...
In 1986 I briefly lived in a squat in North London, and the gas had been disconnected. We cooked everything in the Microwave, and we ate nutritious and completely unexpected (to me) normal meals, like Lasagne made with dried pasta, which uses cottage cheese to boost the moisture content so the sheets of Pasta soften. I appreciate at this point some people are saying "normal??" but truly, compared to the alternatives, using a more liquid cheese to make a meal which conforms in all other respects to your expectations, was huge.
(gas reconnection was hard. Electricity, for reasons I never entirely understood, was easy to get reconnected to squats, at the time)
My co-occupants had a lot more experience than I of this life on the edge. I learned a lot.
Excellent article. "Tradwife futurism" is a brilliant term.
I'm worried I'm going to burn a hole in my wallet searching for a pyroceram skillet that I'll end up using for a week and then forget about it.
The skillet sounds cool but I'd rather not have to deal with a microwave door and control panel for searing stuff. I do, however, frequently use it in ways that others find unconventional:
- Cooking dry goods (quinoa, freekeh, couscous)
- Single-serving coffee mug surprises (omelettes, protein brownies)
- Low-carb cheese crisps (via parchment paper)
- Not-fried rice (day-old rice, light sesame oil, soy sauce, bits of egg, leftover veggies, random seasonings)
- Frozen breaded chicken (wrap really well in paper towels to absorb moisture, overshoot on time, unwrap as soon as they're out to avoid sticking - they come out like 66% as crispy as using a convection oven)
I do draw the line at pasta because the texture never seems quite right when you boil it in the microwave.
> they come out like 66% as crispy as using a convection oven
For pasta: you can make it fresh so it only needs 2-3 minutes to cook, boil water in the microwave, and cook the pasta itself in that heated water (ie, on the counter as it cools from boiling). Like making instant ramen, but fresh pasta — throw in a stock cube and you can serve in the bowl you cook the pasta in.
I’m suddenly in desperate need of a pyroceram skillet too. I’d love to be able to make proper cheeseburgers with grilled onions one at a time without using a stove or grill.
On the other hand my brother in law got himself one of those smokers that burns wood pellets. I could buy one of those and eat nothing but smoked pork shoulder for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I now need a pyroceram skillet too!
But as the solo meat-eater human in my apartment, I ended up buying a gas-canister camping grill to barbecue steaks on my terrace on weekends and then I reheat the rare steaks through the week in the microwave. They get the Maillard reaction and flavor, they get to the correct doneness point when blasted with RF later on.
Cats get happy with the barbecuing, I also grill mushrooms and tofu for my wife and it’s very easy to clean afterwards.
>Pyroceram is a specialized,, white or slightly amber-tinted, opaque glass-ceramic developed by Corning in the 1950s, known for extreme thermal shock resistance and high-temperature tolerance up to 1292 ∘ F It has near-zero thermal expansion, making it ideal for cookware, cooktops, wood stove doors, and, historically, missile nosecones.
Didn’t expect the missile nosecone.
Inbound anecdote.
Dad worked for Corning; when they hired him, he bought a house one town over. It came with a Corning electric range in the kitchen. This was effectively four electrical resistance grids embedded in a giant sheet of pyroceram.
Like an induction cooktop, there is no visible indication that the "burners" are "lit", unless you looked at the control panel off to the side.
Somewhat like an induction cooktop, only certain cookware was compatible with it. Luckily, the primary requirement was "the bottom needs to be flat". You might be surprised at the number of pots which have concave bottoms... or develop them over time.
UNlike an induction cooktop, it does get up to arbitrarily high blackbody temperatures.
Pretty much every accident you can think of synthesizing from these conditions occurred. Nobody in my family would ever buy one. (I love lots of other Corning products.)
Oh, and as for the easy-to-clean surface? Very true... as long as you ignore the case of scorched proteins. Anything else, you wait for everything to cool and then wipe it with a slightly soapy sponge, then mop with a damp cloth. I don't remember the night the grey scorchmark appeared, but it lasted about fifteen years. Then Dad sold the house.
Razor blade scraper.
Neither did Gottfried
Amazon will be happy to sell you a less impressive, but also less "rare historical artifact" microwave browning dish for $20 or so.
The microwave has two big related issues (both mentioned in the article).
The first is that it is not easy to make a mental model of how it works. The second is that since it takes little too cook the food, it is unforgiving and you have to be very careful with both timings and amounts.
This makes it hard to learn how to properly use it just by trial and error. Also since now we have inductive stoves there is even less reason to use it.
Adjust the power setting.
I’m surprised almost everyone I’ve shown this to in real life hadn’t known, and goes on to never use it.
This was less of an issue when more microwaves had two knobs rather than buttons only.
Microwave ovens have been a reliable way to heat milk without scalding at the bottom.
My pet theory is that, humans have an inherent desire to spent a certain amount of time dealing with food.
If our lives are to efficient, say because we do not have to butcher a pig and cure it’s meat to get ham, we start to become obsessed with all kind of strange diets from cocovorism to paleo.
I feel like 80% of the microwave's downfall was adopting VCR-like push button interfaces.
The two dial microwave was peak UX. Quick, painless, no wondering what sequence to press on a strange 'wave, zero time delay between input and cooking, and easy use of the (essential) power function.
It even lets you change time or power mid-cook. For maximum laziness it's possible to leave the door cracked with time on the dial, throw in the food, and adjust the dial while it's already on (slightly reducing the wait before eating). Using the microwave becomes forgiving instead of foreboding, because it's so easy to change your mind.
The only downside is that it's slightly less precise, but getting the exact time down to the second is probably less important than you think. It's also a mechanical part to fail, but I've had microwaves die because the push buttons failed too, whereas my dial unit is still going strong. YMMV
There are some use cases where exact time is very important. Warming milk for a baby for instance - it’s pretty low volume and the difference between 30s and 40s is huge. I used to favour the 2 knob microwave, but since having to do that a lot I’d always choose a digital timer. Some have decent interfaces.
We are repeating this same UX mistake with induction hobs now.
I noticed, it's an unfortunate regression.
What's amazing is how the vibe of using the microwave completely changed. Before it was:
"Okay, how much time?? I've gotta get this right, I only get one shot. Think!!"
to:
"Probably 2 minutes." moves knob, cooking starts "Eh, maybe 90 seconds actually." moves knob again
That alone probably reduces the error rate, and it certainly reduces annoyance.
With the new stoves, I've noticed people are starting to dread using their stove the same way they dread the microwave. Hopefully we can fix both.
At least there's a good reason there - they're easier to clean. That's not much of a concern with microwave controls.
But I disagree with the idea that we don't need precise times on a microwave. The article / book disagrees with that, and the think I most regularly microwave (milk for my kids) needs 1 minute 50 seconds. 2 minutes and they'll reliably complain it's too hot.
The real problem with microwave UX is that the interfaces are often simply bad. People think the power/time dial interface is good but that's because it's difficult to mess it up (though they usually manage anyway by having them go up to 30 minutes or whatever).
It's really easy to mess up a button interface but you can also do it well. My microwave is close to doing it really well. You press a high/med/low button, then 1s/10s/1m/10m buttons to the desired time, then start. The only things they got wrong are that it requires pressing the power when 99% of the time you want high, and you could probably get a more useful distribution of time increments (I'm literally never going to use the 10m button).
But apart from that it's nicer than dials, which are often very cheap and imprecise.
>they're easier to clean
>though they usually manage [to mess up the interface] anyway by having them go up to 30 minutes or whatever
>My microwave is close to doing it really well. You press a high/med/low button, then 1s/10s/1m/10m buttons to the desired time, then start.
Enter time on the keypad, optionally press Power and enter that, press Start. Also needs a Plus 30s button. This is the one and only correct way to implement a push button microwave. ;)
>needs 1 minute 50 seconds. 2 minutes and they'll reliably complain it's too hot.
You could have a hybrid approach of course, but then I suspect the engineering tendency would be to "lock in" the time after starting the oven, so it can't "accidentally" be changed.
Looking for a photo of my microwave dial, I came across this surprisingly relevant post:
https://ux.stackexchange.com/questions/90769/why-do-microwav...
Peak microwave UX is today, IMO — modern commercial microwaves. You seem like my people, so check this out — https://shop.sharpusa.com/medium-duty-commercial-microwave-o...
Consumer-grade microwaves are made to look cool, not to use. Commercial microwaves are made to make money. One dial, no bullshit.
And check out the scale on the dial. That’s modern, no old-skool 2-dial microwaves can do that, AFAIK.
Up voted for basic commercial unit recommendation.
I have one of Panasonics upper model flatbed microwaves that also acts as a fan forced oven with traditional oven element and fan, and as a grill with two overhead halogen grilling elements.
I picked it up for 50% RRP as it marked down for a minor defect I can’t even recall.
It’s 1900 watt on full microwave power, if I recall correctly, where most on the market amend here are 1400 watt. Makes a lot of difference, browning the top of food is easy with a bit of oil.
I can’t really fault it, it’s super easy to keep clean and works great for baking where using full size oven is overkill.
So this can only do the full 1000 W power? Kind of a one trick pony, no way to melt butter or a dozen other things that need lower power. For a restaurant that only needs to heat a few different items at high speed it's probably fine.
I discovered a (lame) party trick some microwave ovens are capable of.
Many microwaves will let you set the power to 0% by pressing the power button then 0 or 00.
You can then put a cup of hot water from a kettle or the hot water tap in the microwave on 0% power for two minutes and it will come out colder.
Bonus points if you have a thermometer at hand.
TIL microwaves can double as a Blow Air Across It machine.
If one person in the house can't tolerate very hot foods, it could be useful for eg cooling off grandma's bowl of soup so she doesn't need to wait.
Thanks Hacker News for surfacing such jewels, and kudos to the author for such a great piece.
Although I will never use anything of what I learned from this article, I feel a better person since I’ve read it.
In one of the alternate universe I like to imagine, AI slop doesn’t exist and the Internet is filled with gorgeous pieces like this one.
In the 1990s, the first microwave our family owned came with a small cookbook and I made an edible cake.
I don't know if this is common knowledge, but microwaves are great for "mug cakes" [1] (or brownies, or cobblers), where you throw the cake ingredients in a mug, mix 'em, and microwave it. Makes for a great quick dessert (for one) when you're feeling snackish.
[1] Here's an example: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/241038/microwave-chocolate...
The downside is that mug cakes are one of the few things my dishwasher can't quite handle (yes, even with prewash and preheated water). That and certain kinds of very paste-y pesto.
For sure - it basically just creates dried lava in the mug. Probably need to soak it for like a day. I wonder if a couple paper cups would be good, or if the heat that is absorbed and re-radiated by the ceramic mug is critical to baking it properly.
You described the Kodiak brand.
Does anyone knows if using microwaves might possibly affect the nutritional value of the food? Or if radiation can leak and act upon your body if you stand very close to it. Heated plastic doesn’t sound too healthy either. And why do we never see commercials about microwaves?
I know nothing about these things, but I still only use it to heat my cold cup of coffee - and I’m standing way back while I do :) I even own a pyroceram skillet.
> Does anyone knows if using microwaves might possibly affect the nutritional value of the food?
Cooking in general affects the nutritional value of food—some nutrients are easier to absorb when cooked, so cooking effectively increases their amount, while other nutrients are destroyed [0] [1]. But given that you're probably cooking your food anyways, there's nothing specific to microwaves here.
Microwaves might actually be slightly better than other cooking methods here, since they produce a lower heat that's less likely to destroy nutrients, but the cooking method has such a minor effect that I wouldn't really worry about it either way.
> Or if radiation can leak and affect you body if you stand very close to it while it’s running.
Microwaves are classified as non-ionizing radiation [2], so their main effect is just heating things up. So if you're standing near a microwave and your body starts heating up, then something bad is happening; otherwise, you're probably fine.
The only health risk from microwaves (aside from a hypothetical accident involving someone being cooked inside one like a rotisserie chicken) is cataracts [3]. But this usually only affects radio technicians, who put their heads beside much bigger and much more powerful microwave emitters than a domestic microwave oven. And even cataracts are only due to the heating effect.
[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooking#Effects_on_nutritional...
[1]: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/cooking-nutrient-conten...
Thanks.
Microwaves were invented to reanimate hamsters from hibernation. No joke.
Using an ISI Whip and a microwave to make cake is a well-known molecular gastronomy technique. Here’s one that doesn’t require the ISI Whip: https://www.seriouseats.com/microwave-rocky-road-sponge-cake...